Being Right IS The Most Important Thing Actually
2025.12.08
Being Right IS The Most Important Thing Actually
So my father came back to the states for a week (he lives in Uruguay) and it took it's typical course. He comes over, shows my boyfriend (Adrien) and I the same videos and photos of houses he has built for the n-teenth time. Adrien asks him some totally out of pocket question that he answers in the exact same way that I would answer the same question if I was 53 years old and Adrien asks, "Oh my god, are you two related?" jokingly. Otherwise there is minimal interaction as the two of us operate on different schedules (and I spend a decent amount of the overlap hiding in the bathroom or at work).
This time though, there was one difference. It was my birthday weekend, so you know what that calls for? Birthday dinner.
Now my birthday dinners with my father don't have the best track record of keeping civil. The combination of alcohol and not being able to just exit the convo easily is not really a good one for either of us. One of us will say something that will trigger a convo about something related to our past and from there everything goes down hill. We are good now, but our relationship was very rocky once upon a time and neither of us really dealt with it. We kinda just swept everything under the rug and kept things moving. So now if someone even dares to mention onions there is full on warfare (one time like 8 years ago I didn't want to eat a boiled onion and it had led to a huge fight that neither of us are over, apparently).
Surprisingly though, this year things went pretty smoothly. We even talked about politics and no one left with any wounds (although I will never get over the man who's entire political axiomatic value is 'so long as I am paying taxes, I am being robbed' not knowing how tax brackets work...but that is a different conversation).
Now I am sure based on the title you are very confused by that last part. It really seemed I was leading up to some grand fight we had and I would say that it was worth fighting because being right is more important than having a good time...Or something along those lines. Which, true, because being right IS the MOST fun one can have. But that's not what I am going to get into here. No, this is going to be about how my father and I's narcissism differs.
As alluded to earlier, and as Adrien will not let either of us forget, my father and I think the exact same way. There is little difference between the two of us in the ways our brains actually function. It is usually the difference in values and priorities that we see the huge differences. In our political conversation we eventually got to a point where he just said, "I don't care. So long as the person supports small businesses like mine, that is who I am voting for." Which there is much to be said on whether or not the republicans actually support small business (they don't, although that said, neither do the democrats really) but again, not the point.
The point is that line of thinking: I will do what is best for me, whether or not it is the correct thing to do, (notice how I did not say "right thing" as this is not a conversation about morals, I said correct. This will be relevant later). I think my father is very stereotypically narcissistic in this way. I think this selfishness is what is expected of those of us with the NPD label. Even he expects it. He has flat out asked me how I, as a narcissist, could ever be a socialist. But to me his line of thinking is basically admitting to being a piece of shit and, as a narc, I'm the best ever and I need to live in a way that is congruent with that belief.
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There are very few things that are actually opinions in my mind. Most things have a right and wrong answer depending on the goal you are trying to achieve. If you cannot state your goal, the "opinion", and then back up how that "opinion" leads to that goal, than you should shut up because you don't know what you are talking about. I'm insufferable about this. I have a reputation of killing many a vibe at parties.
According to the United States itself, one of the goals of the government is to "promote the general welfare" aka make sure the populace is doing good. So what is best for the people is correct policy by definition. That is, allegedly, the goal. Now I believe most people want to be happy and healthy. That is axiomatic, I cannot prove that really, but I also do not think that is a very controversial statement.
Now from there, WE HAVE SCIENCE that PROVES what makes human beings happy and healthy and we have evidence that shows how to achieve those things. There is a correct answer. Period. I couldn't give a fuck about my feelings about it or your feelings about it. There are things that I enjoy hypothetically that I know are bad that I would advocate for policy against because I know that it is the literally, scientifically, objectively, the correct thing to do. And knowing all of the correct answers and making decisions based on those answers. That is my narcissism.
TLDR :I am better than all of you because I don't make ignorant and/or selfish decisions like the rest of you fucking dipwits....
Now Idk if other people with NPD can relate to this? I mean I'm sure someone can, unfortunately no one is truly unique or whatever.... If this lands on some narcs screen I hope that they would let me know what their experience with this type of thinking is....
I don't really know what the conclusion of this is. But that is kind of the point of these blog posts. For me to sit and think about some shit that stuck out in my mind recently and try and process it a bit. I already know that I want to write my next post about reading and the toxic productivity mindset that has murdered the reading vibe. So that'll be a bit more interesting for people who aren't me....I think lol
If you got this far, thanks for reading <3
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